The Birth of Saintwell & The Gift of Stillness
I carried it everywhere—written in journals, pinned to vision boards, whispered in quiet moments. The dream felt both urgent and impossible: to work from anywhere, to rest when my body required, and take extended time off of work when needed. To start my days slowly. To not rush my girls off to school so I could sit in traffic. To stop missing my life. I longed to stop worrying about bills, money, and meals.
More than anything I wanted to be a present mom more than I wanted to be a career woman. Motherhood as my vocation, my mission, my why and everything else a side business.
Still, when asked what I would do if I didn't have to worry about money, I wouldn't admit it. Maybe because I didn’t think it was possible. Instead of naming it—“I’d love to spend some time off of work being a full-time mom”—I would give an answer that would get applause, acceptance, and approval.
In a culture that praises corporate titles, corner offices, the masculine, and women who can “do a man’s job,” choosing femininity, softness and home felt radical and limiting my future – even at that time.
Stay-at-home parents were referred to as “gold-diggers” and asked, “So, what do you do all day?” as if raising children isn’t holy, demanding, important work. Like many of us, I chased jobs, titles, and money, trying to meet society’s standard of success.
Even when my company went remote during the pandemic, I still prioritized work over family, obedient to the systems that paid me. Perceived security and stability began to shape every decision – not my why.
Until I was laid off.
For the first time, I allowed myself to lean fully into motherhood. A privilege I never imagined possible when I was a young, single mother — when I was living paycheck-to-paycheck. Through years of deep financial healing work—I was finally able to create the space that both my nervous system and bank account needed in order to spend more time focused on being present with my girls.
The Birth of Saintwell
Out of that season, Saintwell was born—for all who feel called to live with meaning and presence, but find that money remains the greatest barrier. Here, we don’t believe in money as, cue Wu-Tang Clan, C.R.E.A.M (cash rules everything around me).
We see money as a tool. And our work is less about budgets and spreadsheets, and more about aligning our lives with what truly matters most.
The Gift of Stillness
One of the most unexpected gifts—not only in my life and my relationship with money but also in my bank account—has been stillness.
Stillness gives us space to catch up with the core of who we are. It doesn’t mean our minds won’t race or that distractions disappear. But I noticed so many of my money decisions were happening unconsciously in the busyness of the day. Stillness created space between the why and the buy.
A Question for You
If money wasn’t an issue, I would _______.
If I didn’t have to worry about money, I would be _______.
Until next time…
Prayer & Practice
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.